great day! te feeling of being welcomed back to work was good.. My manager made us laugh, he asked: "Corinne, can you speak??" hahah coz he thought I couldn't speak coz he was wondering why I was quiet today, didn't hear me speak much..I was so occupied with so much work, that's y.. read my mails when I reached work and interesting small issues being fussed up, but I do agree with some of them...

and my colleague joked with me:
me: 1 of our staff lost his memory coz of an accident??
colleague: huh? no la.. not lost his memory la..
me: sure?
colleague: none of our staff lost his/her memory la, but I noe of one staff who lost 4 teeth..
me: *^%$%

haha, everyone felt the pain when I told them I got rid of 4 teeth..gave me cringed shocked faces.. but coz I was put under local anaesthetics! so no pain no trauma...

well, while waiting for my colleague to end work, was clearing my mails after work today when I found this.. after reading it again, I kept asking myself if it's what I'm feeling - the fear of being alone.. but sometimes I don't have this fear, I love being on my own at times, like now.. gives me more space and time for myself...but somehow at the end of the day, this kinda feeling isn't right and nice...just made me feel empty inside me..especially after being asked by my distant cousin online ystd.. being single's just not what I wanted and expected and I've given a conclusion - there's no one now.. I wished there was..

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The Fear of Being Alone

People stay in unfulfilling relationships for any number of reasons, but chief among them is the fear of being alone.

Think about it - are you hanging on to this relationship because you're afraid you might not find someone better? Does the thought of being single scare you? Do you believe that being with someone you don't really love is better than being on your own? Are you "settling" because you think if you wait around too long, you might get left on the shelf?

Staying in a relationship because you're afraid of being alone is a recipe for unhappiness. Firstly, it probably means you have low self-esteem, which often makes you insecure, needy and over-sensitive. Secondly, it means you're not assuming responsibility for your own happiness and self-worth; that you're using the relationship to feel accepted and loved. Thirdly, this fear of being alone causes you to use anger, blame, tears, guilt and so on to compel your partner to stay with you. Or you yourself might be forcing yourself to tolerate unreasonable or abusive behaviour. And these are only a few of the main consequences I can think of at the moment. Others like getting pregnant because you think a child will bond you and your partner for life require more time than I have today.

The thing is, we are only truly alone when we abandon ourselves; when we refuse to take responsibility for who we are and what it takes for us to be happy. Besides, being in a relationship doesn't mean one cannot feel alone. In fact, the behaviour we're driven to when we're in unfulfilling relationships often strains them to the point where we feel alienated from our partners anyway. Ironically, the fear of being alone has had the biggest hand in making us truly alone.

On the other hand, an emotionally-responsible person is never alone because he attracts love, friendship and goodwill. He has no lack of close family members and good friends. And if a path of affection is closed to him, he easily channels the abundant love he has elsewhere.

So what kind of person are you? Are you the type who clings on to a relationship because the thought of being alone is unbearable? Or are you responsible for your own feelings?

We all can become more emotionally responsible by realizing that only we hold the key to our own happiness. No one else is obliged to be with us or to make us happy. We have to learn to manage our loneliness, and the big first step is not to to be afraid of it. The funny thing is that the less you fear loneliness, the less likely you are to suffer from it. People are attracted to individuals who are independent, self-assured and comfortable with who they are. Remember, we receive love when we give love, so always keep your heart open.

A Slice of Life is written, produced and presented by Eugene Loh unless otherwise stated. If you wish to share the scripts with others, please credit it to 'Eugene Loh, A Slice of Life, 938LIVE, a station of MediaCorp Radio'.
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