time on my own to blog now...

Had a scrumptious home-cooked xmas dinner at my cousin's (Veronica) bf's house today with my family and cousins. On the menu was, stuffed turkey, stuffed ham, roasted beef, chicken sausage, 3 different curries, rice and prawns sambal.. and I've eaten lotsa meat that I don't wish to eat any more meat (for the time being). Anyway, soon I'm gonna have a new addition in my family! My cousin, Veronica, she's 1 mth pregnant! It was a moment of shock and happiness when my Mum told me.. so it's gonna be lotsa wedding preparations from now onwards.. I'm very happy for her coz she's finally settling down and she's gonna be a mummy, and I'm sure her soon-to-be hubby is gonna treat her well and love her alot! Sent my 3 younger cousins back to Tampines after dinner and home now...


When my Mum wasn't looking...hehe

Pretty boy Oliver, who love hairbands haha

Alvin & Vanessa

Vanessa, me & Lawrence

xmas dinner at my house on 25 Dec 2006


xmas tree @ my home

the spread of food

cousins

Alvin, me, Lawrence, David & Terence

this afternoon, when I tried to rest and sleep, I just couldn't sleep, my mind was thinking abt so many stuff, and I felt really upset and I broke down till I slept..wad a way to be able to sleep.. anyway, it was a bad hangover for me this morning I guess, with that splitting headache and lack of sleep.. felt lousy la... after chatting with Evan over msn, felt even more upset, just dunno y I keep feeling this way, it's hard for me to let go and I can't help but think of how we've spent our lifes together previously yet now it's over... It's not easy when feelings are involved.. this time I've lost myself for a lot of things, staying away from everything, avoiding friends, avoiding fun, avoiding a person who likes me.

I've hurt you and I noe, but I don't wanna get involved in anything.. You've been nice, you've cared, you hate it how it is right now..I don't see anything and I don't feel anything.. I love being cared for, love having the special attention and treatment, me being pampered and showered wih unconditional love, making me feel happy and understanding me, and making sure I'm well and fine etc .. but I need time on my own now, whether I like it or not, it gets lonely, it makes me happy at times, it's quiet at times, but heck it.. there's nothing to rush, been spending most of my time with my family now and just being on my own, at least I'm glad at times that I've made great friends with good colleagues at work, whom I can relate to. Being with friends whom I can trust is wad I need, someone very close to me somehow seems to have drifted from me and this has upsetted me lots. I nv said anything but I'm saying it here now.. like I mentioned in my previous post, I need to let it all out.. people/strangers/friends will read everything here, but I don't care. whoever wanna comment just go ahead. This whole thing is called a blog and public and whoever reads my posts has the free will to read and comment whatever. my mood's been very weird of late too.. sometimes I can feel so happy, excited, if not sad, upset, depressed, emo, angry, grumpy, changes quickly...