time on my own to blog now...

Had a scrumptious home-cooked xmas dinner at my cousin's (Veronica) bf's house today with my family and cousins. On the menu was, stuffed turkey, stuffed ham, roasted beef, chicken sausage, 3 different curries, rice and prawns sambal.. and I've eaten lotsa meat that I don't wish to eat any more meat (for the time being). Anyway, soon I'm gonna have a new addition in my family! My cousin, Veronica, she's 1 mth pregnant! It was a moment of shock and happiness when my Mum told me.. so it's gonna be lotsa wedding preparations from now onwards.. I'm very happy for her coz she's finally settling down and she's gonna be a mummy, and I'm sure her soon-to-be hubby is gonna treat her well and love her alot! Sent my 3 younger cousins back to Tampines after dinner and home now...


When my Mum wasn't looking...hehe

Pretty boy Oliver, who love hairbands haha

Alvin & Vanessa

Vanessa, me & Lawrence

xmas dinner at my house on 25 Dec 2006


xmas tree @ my home

the spread of food

cousins

Alvin, me, Lawrence, David & Terence

this afternoon, when I tried to rest and sleep, I just couldn't sleep, my mind was thinking abt so many stuff, and I felt really upset and I broke down till I slept..wad a way to be able to sleep.. anyway, it was a bad hangover for me this morning I guess, with that splitting headache and lack of sleep.. felt lousy la... after chatting with Evan over msn, felt even more upset, just dunno y I keep feeling this way, it's hard for me to let go and I can't help but think of how we've spent our lifes together previously yet now it's over... It's not easy when feelings are involved.. this time I've lost myself for a lot of things, staying away from everything, avoiding friends, avoiding fun, avoiding a person who likes me.

I've hurt you and I noe, but I don't wanna get involved in anything.. You've been nice, you've cared, you hate it how it is right now..I don't see anything and I don't feel anything.. I love being cared for, love having the special attention and treatment, me being pampered and showered wih unconditional love, making me feel happy and understanding me, and making sure I'm well and fine etc .. but I need time on my own now, whether I like it or not, it gets lonely, it makes me happy at times, it's quiet at times, but heck it.. there's nothing to rush, been spending most of my time with my family now and just being on my own, at least I'm glad at times that I've made great friends with good colleagues at work, whom I can relate to. Being with friends whom I can trust is wad I need, someone very close to me somehow seems to have drifted from me and this has upsetted me lots. I nv said anything but I'm saying it here now.. like I mentioned in my previous post, I need to let it all out.. people/strangers/friends will read everything here, but I don't care. whoever wanna comment just go ahead. This whole thing is called a blog and public and whoever reads my posts has the free will to read and comment whatever. my mood's been very weird of late too.. sometimes I can feel so happy, excited, if not sad, upset, depressed, emo, angry, grumpy, changes quickly...

have not blogged for a while..as always haha

will update more later...fyi, I've been depressed and as such, I've not been in the mood for anything and I've stayed away from everything.. Especially felt upset and sensitive since Christmas Day on 25 Dec.. just made me feel very disturbed till now.. right now, it's a long weekend ahead, and I'm very happy abt it coz I get to rest a lot, and blog again coz I just need to let it all out.

for now, I'm having a very bad and painful headache. My right earhole, the 2nd one, was bleeding so much just now, after taking my earring out. I think my body is terribly heaty now. I needa rest and lie down, and of which I'm definitely gonna sleep too.. haven't had good rest for the past 2 weeks.

been ending work late, always at 6pm onwards.

28 Dec 06 (Thurs) - Cousins's place for dinner
29 Dec 06 (Fri) - Company's Dinner & Dance | Holiday Inn @ The Atrium
30 Dec 06 (Sat) - Cousin's bf's house for dinner later

alrite, shall end here for this short lil post... I've got pics and updates for this blog soon.. btw, I changed my blogskin again, coz I thought the previous one looked quite messy and I was bored with it too...

wad I've been up to lately? BAKING!!!

got a new oven in my kitchen.. so it's time to start trying out new recipes =)

baked these checkerboard cookies all myself, have a sense of achievement *grins* well actually I tried this same recipe last yr too, and my brother loves it.. so this yr I added a lil more cocoa for that richer chocolatey taste...




there's cornflakes biscuits and pineapple tarts already..

well, today's a very rainy chilly day.. work was busy, I had so much work to do..left work at 640pm after sending an email to my colleague in Hong Kong, well she isn't enjoying much at Hong Kong too, she emailed me to tell me how very very bad a time she is having.. am quite surprised she shared with me lotsa things, but at the same time, I'm glad I have nice colleagues..

been feeling very lousy and depressed, it's just that I dun say. I have not told how sad and lost I've been. The sadness just hits me especially at nights. Well, I always tell myself to be strong, but deep down inside, I'm not, at times I just can't be strong. No one will ever feel how I feel... It has not been a happy life for me, I guess I always learn things the hard way, the one up dere just wants me to learn from my experiences and mistakes. As much as I've always wanted a good relationship, but I just don't have the luck to have it, I don't seem to deserve it, being so loved...What can ever happen to me that will make me very happy and realise that all I've been through is worthwhile. I've been very emo.. but I try to hide and not say.. I dun wanna be as though I'm always some problematic, always-depressed friend...I can't bring myself to another relationship..for now I guess

For now, I will do things wad I wanna do, what I've been longing to do, anything that makes me happy, love myself and live my life happier...memories will always remain and that's wad always make me be very soft-hearted, something which I will never learn..coz it's just me..

I need to shop and I'll be happy =) just give me lots of alcohol and make me high

xmas wishlist

1. Mango Sweater (my pink one is ruined)
2. Mango top
2. IPOD 4gb nano
3. FANCL mild cleansing oil
4. GUCCI wallet
5. bag for work
6. a new mobile phone soon

suffered from bad indigestion after a lunch of mee rebus today.. stomach was churning, felt horribly bloated and uncomfortable, my stomach rejected some of the food coz I puked it out.. so had sweets to stop making me feel nausea.. pretty ok after awhile, though my brain slowed down haha

helped my mum to finish up cooking the pineapple jam, needed strength & energy to cook the jam till dry.. had mango & cucumber since I didn't feel like eating anything else..

very sleepy so I'm gonna sleep soon.. early nites all..

*finally gonna sleep for longer hours*

| ROSES ARE RED...





this bouquet of lovely roses was my surprise. When I received it, it had so many chocolates hidden around the empty sides of the bouquet - kinder bueno, jim bean fudge & ferreo rocher. It was a very tactful move and surprise... It was very unexpected and it was something I did not ask for, or hint for.. My receptionist called me to say I have roses.. and I was, "wth!?" haha so walked up to the receptionist area.. and from then on, my colleagues & I were distracted with the roses that we chit chatted and took a break from work, also the bouquet became a prank to be played on my colleague as well ahah was super funny.. teased my colleague that it was a bday gift from a fellow colleague..he nearly believed it..

anyway, the roses are drying up and has a strong rose scent

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| weekend getaway to GENTING/KL



[ me & my Mum ]


[ me sitting chor-lor-ly & my Mum ]


[ me & my Dad ]


[ family portrait, taken at the lobby of First World Hotel ]


[ we had brunch at Pizza Hut on our last day ]


[ my new addiction: Starbucks Cappucino | my family has sweet tooth problems haha so many sachets of gula ]


[ lunch (big bowl of salad) at Swensons on our 2nd day, we went to KL ]

more pics coming up...

lunch/teabreak

in the end, i'm having something to eat..my colleague, James, bought curry puffs & coffee for me.. thanks! so thoughtful of you.. btw, it's not only for me.. no strings attached, no motives..

he just made my day =) I feel happy now

blogging @ work

GODIVA is heaven!

sleepless night again

back from my 3D2N trip to Genting/KL with my family. will post up pics once I transfer them from my camera..and resize them too

was late for work today, reached @ 8.50am. Mum was rushing me coz my bro was already waiting in the car, and thus forgot to take my phone while in a rush. Only realised when I alighted and was too late to run to my bro coz he drove off far away already..so walked fastly back home to take..was considering to take or not to take my phone..well, can't live w/o it..

skipped lunch today. diet. nah..colleague was rushing for audits la, so I stayed in office as well..I wun go hungry with my kinder bueno chocs, mentos sweets, dried guavas, coffee/milo in office, plus my manager kept insisting I took a break, especially to go eat something.. also offered me his biscuits..my colleague offered me instant noodles..well really happy to have nice colleagues like them, but not really hungry so I'm all fine..just coffee for me =) wouldn't mind a Starbucks Cappucino now..but NO Starbucks here!! sighs..only kopi from kopitiams ;)

shopping later..needa find a top.. and soon a nice dress n heels too.. for DnD, Xmas and dinner with my fren this sat..

I would love to write more..but gotta get back to work..so laters

*craving for some good icecream/cheesecake/lychee martini/baileys haha so many cravings!!